MUCH HAS BEEN WRITTEN, CHIEFLY IN CONDEMNATION OF SHELLEY’S BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS HARRIET. HE HIMSELF WROTE ON THIS SUBJECT TO SOUTHEY; “IF YOU WERE MY FRIEND I COULD TELL YOU A HISTORY THAT WOULD OPEN YOUR EYES; BUT I SHALL NEVER MAKE THE PUBLIC MY FAMILIAR CONFIDANT”. I THINK IT IS PROBABLE THAT ONLY THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN UNHAPPILY MARRIED THEMSELVES CAN UNDERSTAND THE FULL IMPORT OF THESE WORDS.

TEN THOUSAND MILLION GALLONS OF WATER NOW COVER THE “WILD BABBLING” RIVULET; THE HILLS AND UNDULATING WOODS REMAIN; AND THE CYCLE OF THE SEASONS IS UNDISTURBED.

DIOGENES WAS ONCE VISITED BY ’ALEXANDER THE GREAT’ WHO ASKED HIM; “WHAT BOON DO YOU CRAVE OF ME, CONQUEROR OF NATIONS?”, “STEP ASIDE, ALEXANDER”, ANSWERED THE OLD PHILOSOPHER, “AND DO NOT SHUT OUT MY SUNLIGHT”.

IN AUTUMN THE CRISP LEAVES WHIRL LIKE A BACHUIS REVEL AND PACK, ONE ON ANOTHER, IN SHELTERED WATERS, AS THICK AND GOLDEN AS THE FEATHERS ON A GAME-COCK’S NECK. IN WINTER THE SCULPTURING TORRENT CARVES A PORTRAIT OF IT’S OWN SOUL IN THE ROCKS BELOW THE GREAT PEN-Y-GAREG DAM. HERE, FOR ALL TO SEE WHEN THE WATER IS LOW, IS AUTOGRAPHED THE FURY OF UNBRIDLED FLOODS, THE SWEET BEGUILEMENT OF A SUMMER STREAM; CLOSE TO WHERE A FOOTBRIDGE ONCE EXISTED THERE IS A PRINT OF A HUMAN FOOT, THREE INCHES DEEP IN ROCK, BESIDE IT IS THE MARK OF A CLOVEN HOOF, AND THERE ARE STILL STORIES TO BE HEARD OF MEN WHO ARE AFRAID TO CROSS THAT BRIDGE AFTER DARK, AND OF OTHERS, A LITTLE BRAVER, WHO, WHEN DOING SO, HAVE LOOKED OVER THE RAILING INTO THE WATER AND SEEN THE REFLECTION OF THE DEVIL BEHIND THEIR BACK.

OF COURSE THE DEVIL HAS WINGS, OR ARE THEY AS GENTLE AS ANGELS WINGS; HAVE YOU EVER REALLY LOOKED AT A BIRDS WINGS? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE SHORT BROAD WINGS OF BIRDS THAT INHABIT THE WOODS AND HEDGEROWS, AND THE LONG TAPERING WINGS OF THOSE WHO LIVE IN THE OPEN. THE GREEN WOODPECKER, THE JAY AND THE PHEASANT DODGING THROUGH THICK COVER NEED SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO THE WIDE SOARING GULLS OR THE ZENITH SEEKING SWALLOWS. THE WINGS OF A GREENFINCH ARE ALMOST AS BROAD AS THEY ARE LONG; THE AVERAGE WIDTH OF A SWIFT’S WING IS SCARCELY A QUARTER OF IT’S LENGTH. THE GREENFINCHES WING IS GENTLY CAMBERED, AND IT’S FORE EDGE IS NEARLY STRAIGHT; THE SWIFT’S WING IS FLAT AND CURVED AS A SCIMITAR. A CHARMING CUSTOM FORM MEDIEVAL DAYS AND STILL ENACTED IS OF SELECTING A SHERIFF, WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE GAME LAWS, IS FOR THE SOVERIGREIGN TO TAKE A SILVER BODKIN AND, WITH A VIEW TO SECURING IMPARTIALITY, LET THE POINT FALL BY CHANCE UPON THE NAME OF ONE OF THE THREE NOMINEES FOR EACH COUNTY.

THE ACTUAL FLIGHT OF BIRDS DIFFERS, TOO, ACCORDING TO THE PROPORTION OF THEIR WINGS TO THEIR BODIES. A DUCK WHOSE WINGS ARE RELATIVELY SMALL MUST KEEP UP AN INCESSANT RATE OF FLAPPING IF IT IS TO MAINTAIN FLIGHT. BIRDS SIMILAR TO STARLINGS OR CHAFFINCHES WITH A SLIGHTLY HIGHER RATION OF WING AREA ARE ABLE TO VARY THEIR PROGRESS WITH SHORT GLIDES, THOUGH AT THE COST OF SOME HEIGHT; HENCE THEIR UNDULATING FLIGHT. THE ALBATROSS, VULTURE OR CONDOR WITH GREAT SAILS SPREAD WIDE, CAN SOAR FOR HOURS ON END, GAINING OR LOSING HEIGHT ACCORDING TO THEIR DESIRE, BIRDS OF PREY, WHOSE WINGS ARE BROAD AS WELL AS LONG, AND RICHLY CAMBERED, THAT OF GULLS, WHOSE WINGS ARE NARROW AND POINTED, AND COMPARATIVELY FLAT. IN THE FIRST THE BIRDS DEPEND ON STEEPLY ASCENDING CURRENTS OF AIR, SUCH AS OCCUR NEAR MOUNTAINS OR DESERTS. IN A SECOND THEY SAIL ALMOST DIRECTLY INTO THE WIND. THIS LATTER ACTION HAS BEEN WELL COMPARED TO THE ‘CLOSE HAULED’ SAILINGS OF A YACHT, A KEEL PREVENTS THE YACHT BEING BLOWN TO LEEWARD, THE WEIGHT OF THE BIRD HAS A SIMILAR EFFECT IN THE AIR. THE FORCE OF WIND, RISING HOWEVER VAGUE FROM THE SEA, ACTS ON THE WING IN THE SAME WAY THAT THE WIND, COMING FROM A FEW POINTS TO PORT OR STARBOARD OF THE BOW, ON THE YACHT, SOME OF IT TRUSTS TO LEEWARD, SOME OF IT ESCAPES ASTERN, THE REST IMPELS THE YACHT OR BIRD FORWARD. DISCOURSE MAY OBJECT, THAT THERE CANNOT ALWAYS BE RISING CURRENTS OF AIR FROM THE SEA, YET BIRDS ARE ALWAYS SOARING; NETHER THE LESS IT IS A VERY CALM DAY ON WHICH THERE ARE NOT ‘TURBULENT AIRS’ ABOVE THE WAVES.

A SHIP, TOO, WITH ITS MOTION CAUSES DISTURBANCE BOTH TO SEA AND ATMOSPHERE, THE BIRDS ARE QUICK TO PICK A CURRENT TO SUIT, WHILST ON DECK OF A LINER, SEE THAT EVERY FEATHER ON EACH WING IS PULSING THE WINDS, FLYING LOW OVER THE WATER, HOW THEY LIFT TO THE AIR-FLOW SHOOTING UPWARD FROM THE CREST OF EACH WAVE; CLIMBING TO THE MAST HEIGHT, SWOONING AS THEY DROP AWAY TO FIND A MORE BENEFICIAL AIR STREAM WE NOW DESCENDED TO.

FEATHER’S, EACH ONE HAS ITS MAIN SHAFT, OR QUILL, FROM WHICH SPRING THE BARBS THAT FORM THE VANES, EACH OF THESE BARBS HAS MINUTE BRANCHES CALLED BARBULES SPRINGING FROM IT, EACH BARBULES, OF WHICH THERE ARE NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY THOUSAND ON ONE PRIMARY FEATHER OF A PIGEON, HAS MICROSCOPIC BARBICELS, SOMETIMES HOOKED, WHICH INTERLOCK AND HOLD THE WEB TOGETHER. EACH FEATHER IS SHAPED TO ITS PURPOSE, WE MAY SURMISE WHENCE SEEING A ROOK FLYING THAT THE APPARENTLY RAGGED EDGES OF ITS WINGS ARE DUE TO WEAR AND TEAR, BUT IF WE APPERTAIN A CHANCE TO INSPECT A WING WE SHALL FIND THAT THE FIRST FIVE FLIGHT FEATHERS ARE SO SHAPED THAT THEY CREATE THOSE GAPS IN THE WINGS, GAPS WHICH ALLOW THE AIR-STREAM TO PASS THROUGH, PREVENTING THE FORMATION OF EDDIES WHOSE SUCTION WOULD INTERFERE WITH FLIGHT, THIS TRANSPIRES IN ALL BIRDS TO A GREATER OR LESSER EXTENT, ACCORDING TO THEIR NEEDS, RANGING FROM THE TEAL, WITH BUT TWO FEATHERS SO ADAPTED, TO THE PARTRIDGE WHICH HAS SEVEN, THIS PRINCIPAL IS NOW USED IN AEROPLANE DESIGN, WHERE SLOTS IN THE WING PREVENTS STALLING.

THE CHURCH CLOCK STRUCK NO SERVICE, NO SIGN OF ANYONE, SLOWLY TURNING HER PONIES HEADS ABOUT SHE STARTED BACK, SEEING TWO UNARMED BRITISH SOLDIERS BEING CHASED BY A MOB OF INDIANS, MAKING HOME SAFELY, HER SERVANTS SUGGESTED SHE HIDE, INDIGNANT MRS. DUNBAR WAS AFTER ALL THE WIFE OF A BRITISH OFFICER OF A FAMOUS REGIMENT, CAPTAIN DUNBAR SENT A SERGEANT TO ESCORT HIS WIFE TO SAFETY, LEARNING LATER THAT THE SEPOYS AT MEERUT HAD MUTINIED, THIS WAS A SURPRISE TO THE BRITISH AS THE GARRISON OF BRITISH CAVALRY AND FOOT REGIMENTS WAS CONSIDERABLE, THE MUTINY WAS WIDE SPREAD THROUGHOUT NORTHERN INDIA; PRIOR TO THIS BRITISH TROOPS HAD BEEN POSTED TO PEGU A PROVINCE IN BURMA, ALSO FIGHTING IN THE PERSIAN WAR WHICH HAD JUST CEASED HOSTILITIES, OF THE 151,000 MEN IN THE PUNJAB ARMY, ONLY 23.000 WERE BRITISH SCATTERED THROUGHOUT IN HILL STATIONS. THE SEPOYS ACCUSED THE BRITISH OF SUBVERTING THEIR RELIGION, BY GREASING THE CARTRIDGES WITH PIG FAT, THIS RESULTED IN EIGHTY FIVE MEN OF THE 3rd NATIVE CAVALRY OF BEING STRIPPED OF THEIR UNIFORMS, CHAINED AND SENT TO HARD LABOUR ON THE FRONTIER FOR REFUSING TO USE SAID CARTRIDGES. THE SEPOYS HAD CHOSEN SUNDAY EVENING AS THE BRITISH TROOPS WOULD BE ATTENDING CHURCH UNARMED, UNKNOWN TO THE MUTINEERS THE HOUR HAD BEEN CHANGED FROM 6.0-CLOCK TO 7-O CLOCK BECAUSE OF THE HEAT, IN CONSEQUENCE THE BRITISH WERE STILL IN BARRACKS ARMED, IN ONE INSTANCE THE BENGAL NATIVE INFANTRY REFUSED TO GROUND ARMS OR SURRENDER THEIR ARMAMENT, THE SENIOR BRITISH OFFICER ORDERED UP CANNON, CHALLENGED AGAIN WITH DEFIANCE, BLEW THEM ALL AWAY WITH CANISTER, GREAT BARBARITY WAS ENACTED ON THE BRITISH, WITH RESOLUTE FEROCITY THE BRITISH REGIMENTS, DID NOT TAKE MANY PRISONERS.

NOW DEAR READERS WE TRANSFER OUR SIGHT TO THE COLUMN RELIEVING LUCKNOW.

ROBERTA DUBERLY ARRIVED WITH THE 8th HUSSARS TAKING PART IN THE EXHAUSTING, BLOODY BUT LESS GLORIOUS EXPEDITION TO STAMP OUT THE FINAL SPARKS OF THE INDIAN MUTINY, FROM BOMBAY SHE WROTE TO HER SISTER, SELINA ‘THERE IS PLENTY OF FIGHTING TO BE DONE’, THEY SAY, I HEAR LADIES ARE FORBIDDEN TO GO FURTHER THAN DEESA, IN WHICH CASE, I SHALL STAIN MY FACE AND HANDS AND ADOPT THE HINDU CAFTAN AND TURBAN - I’M NOT STAYING BEHIND, SHE DID GO MARCHING WITH HER HUSBAND HENRY WHO WAS FATIGUED, HAVING TO SUPPORT HER HUSBAND, SHE LAMENTED, ROBERTA HERSELF WAS A STRONG ATHLETE WHO PROSPERED IN ADVERSITY, ENJOYING THIS PREAMBLE SHE DECLARED.

LEGEND SAYS THIS TREE WAS NAMED AFTER A SPANISH LADY WHO LIVED IN PERU, HER NAME WAS COUNTESS OF CINCHONA, THUS THE TREE WAS NAMED CHINCHONA, FROM ITS BARK QUININE IS MADE, WHICH FOR MANY YEARS WAS THE ONLY MEDICINE WHICH COULD KEEP MALARIA UNDER CONTROL.

SIR. CLEMENT MARKHAM DID PLANT SOME TREES IN INDIA, APPERTAINING THE SAME SOIL, CLIMATIC CONDITIONS AS THE ANDES, BUT ALL DIED, BACK IN ENGLAND SEEDS RAISED BY KEW, THESE WERE DISPATCHED TO INDIA, AND OTHER COUNTRIES OF THE EMPIRE; WITH GOOD SUCCESS. AT KEW WITH CROSS BREEDING OF THIS COMMODIOUS TREE, PLANTATIONS WERE RAISED, IT BEING FOUND WITHIN A FEW YEARS A DOSE OF QUININE, CAN NOW BE BOUGHT AT ANY POST OFFICE IN INDIA FOR A HALFPENNY!.

SINCE VICTORIAN AUTHORS IMPOSED A DELICATE ROSE IMAGE OF LADIES, ENSCONCED IN THEIR CASTLE OR MANOR’S NOT KNOWING THE WORLD OR ITS ILLS; THIS TO A CERTAIN EXTENT MAY BE TRUE, BUT MOST OF THE LADIES WERE MORE PRONE TO SUPPORT THEIR MEN FOLK IN ACTIONS OF GAIN, SUCH A ONE WAS QUEEN PHILIPPA, WHOM WHILST THE KING WAS IN FRANCE, THE SCOTS WERE ALLIED TO THE FRENCH, WHO AS AN ALLY IMPLORED THE SCOTS TO ATTACK ENGLAND'S NORTHERN COUNTIES, WHICH THEIR KING DAVID BRUCE ENACTED WITH VIGOUR - REACHING DURHAM, QUEEN PHILIPPA RAISED AN ENGLISH ARMY OF TWELVE THOUSAND AND CHECKED THE SCOTS AT NEVILLE’S CROSS NEAR THAT CITY; ENTRUSTING COMMAND TO LORD PERCY, WHO FACED A SCOTS ARMY OF FIFTY THOUSAND OR MORE, THE QUEEN RODE THROUGH HER RANKS EXHORTING THEM ON REVENGE FOR THEIR KINFOLK AND DUTY TO ENGLAND, SHE COULD NOT BE PERSUADED TO LEAVE THE FIELD EVEN THOU THE TWO ARMIES ENGAGED WITH A DISTURBING HATRED OF EACH OTHER.

THE SCOTS WERE UNFORTUNATE IN HAVING THAT MANY MEN CRAMPED INTO SUCH A TIGHT SPACE, THAT UNABLE TO EXPAND AND MAKE SHORT WORK OF THE ENGLISH, THEY WERE SHOT TO RIBBONS BY THE ENGLISH ARCHERS, THE SCOTS STANDING TOGETHER IN TIGHT FORMATION AS THE RAIN OF ARROWS IMPALED THEM, TWENTY THOUSAND WERE SLAIN, THEIR CHANCELLOR SIR THOMAS CHANTERI THE SCOTTISH KING TAKEN PRISONER, (WHO WAS SHOT IN THE FACE), WITH THE EARLS OF SUNDERLAND, FIFE AND MONTEITH.

QUEEN PHILIPPA TOOK THESE PRISONERS TO LONDON TO BE PLACED IN THE TOWER, TAKING A SHIP TO CALAIS TO SEE EDWARD WHO AS IF A PEACOCK PARADED HIS FAIR QUEEN HAILED AS THE BODICEA OF THEIR TIME! SO THE FAIR LADIES OF THIS PERIOD WERE NOT AS OBSEQUIOUS AS PORTRAYED.

THE SCOTS HAD TO WAIT THREE GENERATIONS FOR REVENGE AT BANNOCK BURN!.

THOMAS DOGGETT WAS A COMEDIAN WHO HAVING MADE HIS WAY FROM IRELAND AT THE END OF THE 17th CENTURY TO LIVE IN LONDON, PROSPERED , INSTITUTED AN ANNUAL ROWING RACE ON THE THAMES TO CELEBRATE THE ACCESSION TO THE THRONE OF KING GEORGE THE FIRST.

THE CONTESTANTS WERE THAMES WATERMAN, THE CAB DRIVERS OF THE 18th CENTURY, WHO HAVING COMPLETED THEIR APPRENTICESHIP; THE COURSE BEING FROM THE SWAN INN AT LONDON BRIDGE TO THE SWAN INN CHELSEA, A DISTANCE OF FOUR MILES FIVE FURLONGS. THE FIRST PRIZE BEING A LIVERIED COAT AND A SILVER BADGE, WHEN THOMAS DOGGETT DIED IN A.D. 1721 HE BEQUEATHED A SUM OF MONEY IN TRUST WITH THE FISHMONGERS COMPANY OF LONDON, HE DECREED AUGUST THE 1ST, BUT SOMETIMES HELD IN JULY, DUE TO THE TIDES, TODAY NEARLY THREE HUNDRED YEARS LATER, ALL CONTESTANTS WHO FINISH GET A SILVER CUP, ALSO THE AFOREMENTIONED FIRST PRIZE IS STILL AWARDED.

ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS RELAY RACES ARE HELD DUE TO THE POPULARITY SOME YEARS.

IN THE DAYS BEFORE THE MODERN MEDIA, OR EVEN NEWSPAPERS WERE INVENTED, MOST SMALL TOWNS EMPLOYED A MAN TO ANNOUNCE THE NEWS OF PUBLIC INTEREST. ARMED ONLY WITH HIS HANDBELL AND CORRESPONDING LOUD VOICE, HIS JOB WAS TO ANNOUNCE IMPORTANT EVENTS, LOCAL OR NATIONAL, A ROYAL BIRTH OR DEATH, DISASTER OR TRIUMPH IN WAR, OR JUDICIAL PROCLAMATIONS.

TRADITIONALLY EACH TOWN CRIER PREFACES HIS ANNOUNCEMENTS WITH THE STENTORIAL CALL OF “OYEZ, OYEZ” MEANING “HEAR YE, HEAR YE” THE CRY COMES FROM THE OLD NORMAN-FRENCH WORD OF “OUIR” TO HEAR, WHICH IN TURN COMES FROM THE LATIN AUDIRE.

THE ENGLISH UNABLE TO PRONOUNCE THE FRENCH SECOND PERSON PLURAL OF OYEZ-VOUS (SILENT ‘Z’), OR ‘HEAR YE’, CORRUPTED IT TO “OH-Y-E-E-E-Z”